Meat and P'taters

So I said I'd make a more beefy post, and I meant it.

I haven't been keeping on top of things nearly as well as I should be. Work got pretty intense about 3 months ago, and stayed that way for a really long time. I have a body that can't really handle the desk job I have; a lot of RS pain in my hands and wrists, my neck and back get messed up. Between the physical pain (and being unable to avoid it as we were call after call after call) I started getting a lot of spiraling mental health issues including panic attack and severe stress. Not out of the fire yet, but maybe it's cooling off a little...
Not an excuse, but I have at least been keeping my practice in my mind, and keeping up with my "walking meditations" I tend to do when I'm on my morning commute. And...

Guys my reading is caught up.

I've been beyond stressed out, since the very first book (The Norse Mythology monstrosity) took me twice as long as it should have, that I'd be in full blown panic crunch mode by now.

And then I blasted my way through The Practical Heathen's Guide to Asatru like a goddamn space cannon. And now, here we are, the trailing end of month five, and I'm maybe half an hour away from finishing book five, Witch: A Magickal Journey by Fiona Horne.

I wanted to touch base a bit more in-depth on my feelings about Practical Heathen. I went into it excited, since I was finally going to get the modern pagan/religious/spiritual perspective on the myths I read about in my first book.

First off, I was surprised at the number of little things I found I was reading about that have already been some part of my practice or belief, how many things "clicked". One of the bigger ones was the concept of animism - everything has a spirit, a soul, an energy. She refers to them as "wights", that everything alive or otherwise is a "wight". I've always felt this, and this has been a huge factor in my belief system since I considered myself pagan, and even a bit before I came around to that. Even manmade things and electronics. I tend to personify electronics I use a lot--my computer, my camera, my phone, the xbox--and get pretty attached to them. I honestly feel a lot of these objects absorb the energy of their makers, or their owners--a computer, like any tool, takes on some of the one who uses it. I've always had a stupid amount of luck with (most) of my electronics. I tend to get a lot longer out of them than is logical (says the gal who used to work in computer retail and knows how often things break down.) and usually I will try to fix them myself if me an' google can figure out how.

I really really liked learning about blots, and sumbles. She gave good examples of really simple solo rites, and more involved ones for groups or certain occasions. I'm a pretty firm believer that if your intention is in the right place, the only "wrong" way to do something is "half-assed", but it's nice to have a starting point for communication with the gods.

She was also very open-minded in acknowledging that certain heathens do things differently or that something is how "most" heathens do it, implying "not all". One review I read, and agreed with, is she was very fair in her discussion of Loki, actually devoting a small "annex" to the issue posed by his role in the mythology and whether or not he is worshipped. I knew there were heathens who do not like Loki, and there were "Lokeans" but didn't really understand the nature of the division or what the "norm" was. I feel like I sort of do now.

Overall I was a big fan too of her writing style. It tended towards more relaxed and informal in tone, which I seem to absorb from better than the more "mystical" or stuffy writing style. She threw in a bit of light humor and it was an easy, engaging read. I may look into reading Essential Asatru by Diana Paxson as my last book, to compare, but I haven't decided yet. 

On to Fiona Horne...

This book is pretty awesome. It's lightweight and kind of irreverent in the writing style, which seems to be my preference (see above) as it feels more conversational than academic or fluffy. I've openly giggled a bit more than once.

I'm not necessarily learning a lot about the craft in general that I wasn't already familiar with, though there are a TON of really good ritual and spell ideas in this book which I am absorbing into my mental arsenal of ideas for things. It makes the reading sometimes a bit awkward, as my impatient nature wants me to skip over spells for things I have no interest in (ie. a love spell) but I've been forcing myself to read this cover to cover, since even in a spell I have no specific use for, I may get ideas for something I WILL use.

One thing she seems to refer a lot to is the use of spoken words/phrases during spell work, something I've always had a hard time doing. My most powerful and effective spellwork has always had a spoken component, but I always feel silly saying things out loud. It's something I'm slowly trying to get over, as I think that it helps me focus a lot. She also talks a lot about using an athame. The athame has always been a trouble tool for me. I'm on my third. I'm always super enthused about them when I get it, but my enthusiasm always seems to taper off, like there's something that doesn't quite... fit. We'll see how number 3 does. I did put in a message to a local blacksmith about making a custom blade, which I'd fit my own handle to. I'd have to save up, but it may well be worth it--to have something crafted specifically for me, that I can then "finish" myself might make it more "mine".

I will get some photos soon, of my staff (which really does exist honest) and my altar with its lovely new cloth, and my crazy balcony garden.

Happy soon-to-be-Lughnasadh!

Quick Update

Hey everybody. Just a quickie.

Finished the Practical Heathen's guide to Asatru. Loved it. I don't know if I'd call myself asatru/heathen any time soon, but there were a lot of concepts discussed in the book that were already part of my practice or belief system in some way, under different names. I will write more on it soon, as I have some specifics I'd like to discuss.

My new book I've started is Witch: A Magickal Journey by Fiona Horne. I'm lucky to have a copy of it, which Amy/Jackalope had from back when it was in print.

More meaty update soon, I promise!

Progress

Oh gods guys, it's scary to think there's like, a month and a half left of this. I am so behind on reading, like, I can't even.

But I did finish A Witch Alone. Final thoughts? Really good ideas for meditations, rites, etc. Super fluffy, somewhat preachy, and maddeningly contradictory otherwise. Still perma creeped by her very love n' light approach to deities. But I did take some things from the book, to be sure.

My next book is The Practical Heathen's Guide to Asatru by Patricia M. Lafayllve. Despite starting it less than a week ago, I'm over halfway through it. After reading that other Norse Mythology book at the start of my IDGAF process, I've been wanting to get into a more modern pagan aspect of looking at Norse mythology, deities, and associated practice. I'm not necessary looking to get into Asatru specifically, but I am finding a lot of what I'm reading already meshes pretty closely with my worldview, beliefs, and things I've been doing as part of my practice for quite awhile. I think the fact that I've been specifically looking forward to reading about this is part of why I'm burning through the book so quickly. It also made me go buy a bottle of mead, because mead is mentioned in the sense of use in ritual a lot and I haven't had mead in quite awhile. There is only one kind buyable here, and it used to be awesome but the last few times we had it, it sucked pretty bad. Bum batch, I guess. Ours wont be ready for awhile, but I thought I'd give theirs another shot...this bottle seems better. Maybe just because I really wanted it?

Our local pagan book/goodie shop is closing at the end of next month, after nearly 20 years of business. Our good friend Renee will be out of a fulltime job, and my wife will be out the occasional weekend of part-time casual work. She and I met in that store, and most of my tools which can't be handmade, my crystals, and incense, and candles, are from that store. There is nothing that compares with it in our city, so I'm pretty... sad, and bummed. I went last week with Amy, Visa in hand, and dropped an amount of money I would normally never spend all at once. But I figure, they were things I will not be able to easily get once the store is gone--and since I had the means to get them, I'd rather have them now than pick through leavings once they start selling out of things. I was too late to get a little cast-iron cauldron, which is something I'll have to source elsewhere since I've wanted one for awhile.

I'm going to be updating my altar tonight, and we're doing a full moon consecration ritual. I haven't forgotten I said I'd post a photo of my staff--it's coming along well, I have the sanding done. Now for woodburning, and then oiling, and then affixing my crystal I picked out to go in it. It'll be awhile yet, since I'd kinda like to woodburn some runes into it, but haven't the knowledge to make a sound choice on which to use. I have a book to read called Taking Up The Runes by Diana Paxson, but it'll have to wait until I'm more secure in being able to finish my IDGAF reading.

Cheers for now.

Idgaf Update - A Witch Alone, and a Staff

Video should be fairly self explanatory.

I will get a photo up soon of the staff-I have almost the entire part I'm sanding down, sanded down.

I also need to mention I did go back the next night and clean up all that garbage. I don't outright mind people hanging out in the woods to smoke their weed (I'd rather that than the smell coming into our apartment if they're neighbors) but I wish they'd clean up after themselves.

I should point out I feel always slightly awkward discussing rituals in great detail unless it is something I was planning. Weird like that, I guess. If I'm sparse on details, it's not that it wasn't interesting, it's that I sometimes feel oddly exposed sharing them.

IDGAF Update (Long overdue)

Fair warning: This is basically 13 minutes of me talking, while the video sits there staring at my pots of paint. You've been warned.








Also if anybody is interested, here is the finished product of the dragon I was painting in the "video":

The Way of the Hedge Witch

So I've been pretty bloody awful at writing lately.

My current book that I am working on now is "The Way of the Hedge Witch" by Arin Murphy-Hiscock. I'm enjoying it so far. I had previously read The Way of the Green Witch by the same author, and had enjoyed that as well.

The book is good, though some of the information is very general and touched on very lightly, it takes a nice angle of recognizing spirituality in every thing you do, and devoting time to recognize the significance of daily tasks. I'm enjoying some of the ritual suggestions for create a symbolic "hearth" in your home.

It is a very light read, and I would probably cross-reference the author's information on deities and household spirits, as it's too general to perhaps be overly trustworthy. But y'know, deities terrify me and aren't something I'd consider invoking lightly, so...

I need to buckle down and read though, because we're almost at month 3 and I'm done 1 and 3/4 books..eep!

Work and life and everything in general has been a bit crazy these last few weeks.

Honey Badger posted a blog post prompt:

In the busy world we live in, how do you find time for your spiritual self? How do you maintain your spiritual growth and nurture your inner connection to deity in between meetings, phone calls, traffic jams, family, friends and everything else you do?

One of my favorite times of each day has become my morning walk to work from the bus stop. I could bus closer-I intentionally get off where I do and walk, about 2km, to work. I like the exercise, the fresh air, and I usually put my tunes in and just let my mind go. It isn't always a spiritual place it ends up in, but a lot of the time I do end up having deeply philosophical thoughts, almost meditative experiences--as much as one can have, when there are streets to be crossed and you're walking in a less than stellar part of town. The music is the key; during my workday, as well, if I'm having "a day", I will often pop in my earbuds on my break or lunch and listen to a few songs. When I can't find a specific, set-aside time to be "spiritual", I find those little moments of almost-meditation do wonders for helping me reconnect.

Beltaine

This is a big picture dump upcoming, since photos are worth a thousand words and I really think I am too sleepy for that many words right now. Like man.

Our coven had our Beltaine ritual tonight, which was "my" ritual to host/run, and part of our monthly ritual for IDGAF. We used Gods Be Praised's dad's yard, with a firepit, so we had a decent fire going. Before the ritual we roasted hot dogs, and afterward made S'mores.

Since none of us have a "hearth" to relight from our Beltaine fire, we each took a lantern with a tealight, and lit it in the fire, after tossing in pieces of parchment on which we had written things that sparked our creativity, passion, inspiration, or excitement. The candles can be relit, and used to light other candles and thus share that energy around our homes.

(These lanterns were $5 at a local grocery chain and are metal. The little silver one is Jackalope's, and was from walmart since she didn't have one. Mine is the red. Hee.)

Good times.

One thing I've definitely had to coax myself into has been altar remodeling. I used to leave my altar largely stagnant unless I got something new. I've been having a LOT of fun changing it around for the sabbats, even if there's only been Beltaine and Ostara so far that I've really changed it up for.

For my altar for Beltaine, I really had planned on sticking more with "fire" than "fertility, so I added a dragon statue, and a wooden piece I painted to look like a salamander. I did end up adding a small "lucky frog" figure for fertility.

Then, yesterday, I ended up at a local store called the Black Market, which sells a ton of stuff...including carved wooden penises. Honey Badger had already bought one, and wanted another. I thought perhaps this could be my more "traditional" fertility symbol for my altar. But I gotta admit. Not a big fan of penises. Even wooden ones. Mixture of being really gay, and also maybe a bit immature at times. So I thought, how can I make this dick less awkward to have on my altar?

Glitter.

This ended up turning into a pretty hilarious kitchen-party-for-three, my wife watching Honey Badger and I paint and bedazzle our wooden phalli. In the end, I decided to make mine a mushroom.

 I am so stupidly happy with how it turned out. It is glittery as fuck in person and the spots on the top glow in the dark. Mission fucking accomplished.

So I reworked the altar again to include it:

And replaced some stones in my leaf bowl with some acorns.

I definitely have some post-rit exhaustion, but it was an awesome night, and finally the first real day of sun and good temperatures. Maybe, hope to the gods, spring is finally here?